Monday, August 29, 2011

A Rude Awakening, A Saturday Centus


Jenny Matlock

I’m back again (albeit a bit late) for week 69 of Saturday Centus, a terrific writing meme hosted by Jenny Matlock at her blog, off on my tangent.  It’s my 68th attempt at this marvelous, madcap monument to micro-fiction and it is still as fun and challenging now as ever! 

This week Ms. Jenny has served up an interesting prompt to incorporate into our stories.  The prompt is “Surprise!  I’m pregnant!”  She is always keeping us on our toes with these prompts of hers.  I can hardly wait to see what she will come up with to confound and perplex us next week!

This week we have a total of 100 words plus the three prompt words to craft something fun or interesting to share with our fellow Centusians and bloggy buddies.   

In addition to keeping the word count at or below 103, the rules are that we can’t use vulgarity (not even Spanish vulgarity…I checked) and  we can’t split or alter the prompt in any way.  We can, however, use a picture this week, so I'm loving that!

Without further ado, here is my take on this week’s prompt.  I have entitled it: 

A Rude Awakening

The text from my girlfriend said “Come home soon…big surprise!” 

Unbeknownst to her I was already on the way…with a surprise of my own.

During a huge presentation I suddenly sneeze-farted…three times.  This unleashed laughter and pandemonium.  The Japanese executives were not amused and pulled their advertising account.

I was fired on the spot. 

Nadya smiled as I drove up.   Over the shrieks of several small children I heard her exclaim, “Surprise!  I’m pregnant!  It’s octuplets!”

That’s when I woke up screaming.  It had all been a nightmare.  The Octomom wasn’t really my girlfriend after all.

Jenny Matlock

Denny's is offering a breakfast special in honor of the "Octomom," Nadya Suleman.  It's eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy in the next booth has to pay for it.



  1. Hahaha...loved it. Awesome post!!!

  2. A nightmare, indeed! Sneeze farted? Really? You always come up with an unexpected direction in which to take the prompt, and this is no exception. Thanks for a good one.

    Oh, and I love the quote about Nadya Suleman. Did you make that up?


  3. is the Denny's special!

  4. Gotta love a story that features the sneeze fart.


    PS. Where on earth did you find that picture? heehee

  5. hahahahahhaha, ahahahahahhaha, snort, ahahahahahaha. wow. that was awesome.

  6. This is hilarious, Tom. Thank goodness it was a nightmare. I mean, she's got a creepy face and big lips and all.

  7. sneeze-farts ... oh gawd tell me this doesn't really happen ... by the way i am reading this on a screen that is drenched in my spewed coffee! great post ... and omg, octomom ... shudder ...

  8. Tom, what else can you expect when you eat a giant bowl of chili and an order of onion rings before going to bed??

    You know I had cataract surgery this summer? Well, thanks to that disgusting cartoon, I am now totally blind!!

  9. OMG! OMG! That cartoon both made me laugh and made me want to throw up...simultaneously.

    Sneeze farts?

    You are absolutely fabulous, Tom!

  10. You know what? You're really twisted... I like that in a person. ;)

    Thanks for the giggles, my friend.

  11. Ahh horrifying! You always have the perfect picture to match it. Like the GOP pizza picture.


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