Sunday, May 19, 2013

Captain Silver Beard Jones - A Saturday Centus

Ahoy! 'tis me entry fer week 160 o' Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus, a fun literary meme designed t' challenge yer writin' skills by forcin' ye t' write concise tales of 100 well-chosen words plus the supplied prompt.

O' course we don't 'ave t' do it like a pirate every week, but given this week's prompt, which is “Argh, Matey,” I thought 'twould be th' thin' t' do.  Ye be encouraged to play along by posting your story to Jenny’s blog, off on my tangent.

Ye know natterin' like a pirate can be downright habit formin'.  In fact it can even be annoyin' if ye believe me beauty, Teresa, who tells me if I don't stop callin' her a wench she be goin' t' scream.  But I digress.  Here be me entry fer this week which shall be known hence as:

Captain Silver Beard Jones

“Avast ye child 'n listen t' me as Captain Silver Beard Jones tells ye me tales o' sailin’ th’ deep blue sea plunderin’ the Spanish main of gold doubloons, silver and jewels.  ‘Tis a tale of me’self, a swarthy scallywag if ever was one, in cunnin’ swordplay as I swin’s from the’ riggin’ on the Black Pearl.”

“ thanks.”

“No?  Well least be kind ‘nough to fetch yo’ sweet papa a tankard o’ ale like a good lass.”

“Ale?  Really?  Is that your new name for diet Root Beer?”

“Aye, ‘tis today, Lissa.”

Argh, Matey.  I hate Talk Like a Pirate Day.”

Jenny Matlock

Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. 
Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people.  Then they are an awesome substitute.

-- Unknown

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Winning Formula - A Saturday Centus

This is my entry for week 159 of Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus, the itty bitty story writing meme celebrated by writers worldwide.  

I’m a little late to the party this week because I was out of town visiting my mom this last weekend, but fans of Jenny’s blog “off on my tangent” know that Jenny has a heart of gold and will always allow extra time for us late-posting stragglers to play along.

The rules of this meme are to write a short story or poem with only 100 words plus the words from the supplied prompt.  This week the prompt is “you put the lime in the coconut,” which is part of the lyrics of the song “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson, an old favorite of mine from the early seventies.  

After crafting your tiny 107-word masterpiece you then post it to Jenny’s blog so that other Centusians can delight in your creativity and clever word skills.

This week I have entitled my story:

The Winning Formula

From behind the bar Duncan eyed the rows of bottles of liquors, mixers, liqueurs, and fruit juices and wondered out loud which ingredients to use.

“Hmmm…let’s see Duncan…something tropical with a coconut would be good for presentation.   

“Blend Malibu rum and coconut cream, cranberry juice, strawberries, bananas, vanilla ice cream, and blue curacao.      

“Hmmm…needs something.  Lime zest!  Yes, you put the lime in the coconut, then add a splash of 7-up and ring with toasted shredded coconut.

“Nope, this still isn’t unique enough.  I know what I need, pickle juice!

“Voila!  The Wacky Wahine!”

The Mixologist trophy would not elude him again.

Jenny Matlock

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. 
                                                   ~Dave Barry


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