Sunday, December 26, 2010

Death of a Toy Man, A Saturday Centus


Jenny Matlock

Merry Christmas everyone!  I hope you all had a good time.   Well this weekend has been a busy one with family from all over coming to our house for the holiday so I will keep this week’s Saturday Centus short and to the point so I can get back to spending time with them and not go off on a tangent like I usually do.

So we are now at week 34, or week 238 in dog weeks according to my dog, Rufus, and it has been a fun-filled ride playing along with Jenny and the Centusians.  (I have all their albums!)   Being a Centusian has been a wonderful gift for 34 weeks and I need to thank Ms. Jenny Matlock at her blog, off on my tangent, for hosting this meme every week and giving us aspiring writer folk a place to practice our creative scribblins.   

Thank you Jenny!!!

The Saturday Centus is a challenging creative writing meme where we are instructed to write a story of only 100 words or less using a supplied prompt.  Besides the 100 word limit, the rules also include no splitting the prompt, no illustrations or photographs, and no vulgarity.  Of course if you fail to obey the rules karma will visit you with the worst case of flatulence you have ever experienced.  Remember, you were warned!

After posting their stories, writers link up to Jenny’s meme post so that we can all share our takes on the prompt with one another and offer feedback.  This week’s prompt is “the white-bearded fat man rolled through the church doors.”  My take on the prompt was probably darker than others given that it is Christmastime, but I present it to you anyway.  I have entitled it:

Death of a Toy Man

On a clear, crisp night beneath the starry skies above Berkeley, a Christmas celebration was underway.

Nick Kloss, CEO of Kloss Toys and a liberal activist, was known for his big entrances almost as much as his generous donations, so when the white-bearded fat man rolled through the church doors riding a Segway, most smiled and laughed at his eccentric behavior.

One person there didn’t smile.  His thoughts were full of rage and a fundamentalist dogma that would never know Kloss’ compassion for one’s fellow man.

By the end of that evening, Kloss’ body would be found shot to death.
Another victory for the “Crusaders for Christianity.”

Jenny Matlock

Two thirds of Americans can't do fractions. 
The other half, just don't care.



  1. You never cease to please. A great Centus considering all of the hustle and bustle right now. And, look, you're not so late this week!

    I hope you had a great Christmas and that the rest of your holidays are happy.


  2. That's a believable story, Tom - dark and well written.
    Happy holidays. xo

  3. Modern day crime involving Santa. Great take on this prompt Tom. Loved the use of the Segway. Too bad the old jolly got done in. Wonder who did it? ~Ames

  4. That, was all sorts of awesome. I'm hoping next week to not be in a sad mood when I do this.

  5. Yikes, poor Nick.

    I'm happy your having a great Christmas.

  6. Oh, no! You offed a liberal activist?! We need all of those we can get. Maybe he's not really dead and we'll find that out in your next story?

    I know. The white-bearded fat man was really Rush Limbaugh who'd mugged the liberal activist and stolen his clothes to wreak some Grinch-like havoc!

    Well done, my friend.

  7. Such a loss for the Kloss.


    Good job, Tom.

  8. Unfortunately, Tom, your story has way too much truth in it these days. I am glad you wrote it. It is an excellent take on the prompt.

  9. Ha ha! The religious zealots do get a little protective of their Baby Jesus. I think the Segway was what did him in. No one likes a man on a Segway.

  10. Quite crafty writing Tom...the segway gave such a fine segue for the rolling...way cool...Peace and blessings

  11. My blog roll didn't show that there WAS a Centus this week! Yikes! How could I have missed it???? You did well on this one, Tom. Way to go!

  12. Uh oh, now half of the country hates you. Better hide all traces of your whereabouts.

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  14. Jo cant word her comments right ... geez ... I love the use of the segway in the story ... It is so sad that sometimes life is like this

  15. Dear Tom,
    What is a segway? Sometimes I don't get. I ususally try to explain background information about Swedish traditions so that people from other parts of the world understand the punchline. Maybe it is hard for you to see what is only known to people living in America just now.

    I am not too keen on violence in these writing exercises and this is not the place to stand on a soapbox and talk about politics.

    You are a good writer, Tom. But I think you should consider editing your writing a little more.
    Best wishes,
    Anna's SC#34

  16. Interesting take on the prompt. I liked the use of the Segway!

  17. At first I was worried that I should do a word recount on all my posts to be sure I wasn't going to come down with a virulent case of flatulence...especially now that large groups of people are gathered together and my dog has seemed to be making us suffer from this affliction of late...

    Then I realized...

    ...It is Tom, gifting us with another week of fabulous humor and wry observations.

    ...and then I realized...

    ...I can now read Tom's posts without a compelling desire to immediately erase everything on my hard-drive in recognition that my writing will never, ever be this darned good...

    ...and then I realized, hey, it's Christmas...

    ...just tell the guy how amazing he is.

    So I am.

    And I will.

    And I will continue to do so until fame lures you from the loving and supportive collective Centusian arms and whisks you away in a stretch limo very much like the one used in the movie...


    Here I go...on and on.... when all I really wanted to say was...

    You are amazing, Tom. Someday I will tell you the story of the first time I read your blog...

    In the meantime, I'll just send wishes for a New Year filled with new ideas, new directions and discovery.

  18. PS. Like the segue with the Segway. Very cool.


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