Sunday, October 24, 2010

Beware The Gollywoggle! A Saturday Centus


Jenny Matlock

Here I go again, late out of the gate for this, the 25th week of Saturday Centus!  My brain has been in a state of dysfunction (even more so than usual) while I struggle with illness this week.   It’s so difficult to think creatively when you are sick.  For a writer they may as well call it Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

Even as I have tried my standard remedy of applying liberal amounts of Scotch to the back of my throat to drive out the evil spirits that are responsible for the coughs and congestion that have dried up my creative juices, my mental faculties are still not where they should be to properly participate in a writing exercise of this high degree of complexity.

Nonetheless, I shall give it my best effort.   Don’t hate me if I am a word or two over the limit, however.  It’s not me, it’s the sickness!

For you newbies out there that may think Saturday Centus is some terrible malady to be suffered in silence, it is far from it.  Not to be confused with Saturday Night Fever, which can now be treated with a special ointment from the pharmacy, the Saturday Centus is an imaginative writing meme hosted by that irrepressible literary genius, Jenny Matlock, at her blog off on my tangent.  

The rules of Saturday Centus require that you write a very short story using a supplied prompt, and that the story be no longer than 100 words total not including the prompt.  You can’t use any vulgarity or pictures with your entry and it can be either fictitious or true.  When you are done posting your story, link it to Jenny’s meme post so that all of us can check it out and comment on your creativity.  Sounds easy enough, right? 

This week’s prompt, in honor of Halloween is:

"This is the scariest story I've ever heard..."

You know, my problem with writing a Saturday Centus on a Sunday is that by that time all the really great story ideas have already been taken and I have to settle for my backup ideas which admittedly aren’t very good.  

For example when I thought of my backup ideas for this prompt, it reminded me of the story of when my parents first met in school.  Yeah, so what’s so scary about that?  She was a student and he was her fourth grade teacher.  Next!

My next rejected story idea centered on getting stuck in an elevator with an elderly woman who suffered from a condition euphemistically known as “The Vapors” in the South, but is known everywhere else as extreme flatulence.  Again, next!

Alas, it is with great trepidation that I reach my germ-ridden hand into my bag of story ideas and drag out one that can hopefully suffice to fill my blog page for the next few days while I recuperate from whatever nastiness (Bolivian Screaming Turtle Syndrome?  Projectile Ebola?  Mad Chipmunk Disease?) which has ravaged my weak, enfeebled body.

Here is my contribution for this week.  I have entitled it:

Beware The Gollywoggle!

“I was walking home through the park from a disco party when I got the feeling I was being followed, but there wasn’t anything there. Suddenly I could hear footsteps coming up quickly behind me.

Terrified, I ran as fast as I could in platform shoes.  As I raced across the wet field, I slipped and muddied my polyester slacks and rayon shirt.

I looked and there staring back at me was a gollywoggle.  That’s why I don’t go to the park at night anymore.”

“Wow, Dad,” Bryan said.  “This is the scariest story I've ever heard.  Seriously, you really wore those clothes in public?”

Jenny Matlock

Happy Halloween Everyone!


  1. Oh dear! I do hope you feel better soon! I know what youi mean about writing the sotry on Sundays - I hate getting there late too.
    As for this - yes- I'd love to sdee those clothes. As usual a great take on the prompt!

  2. So clever...LOL...I loved it!! :o)

  3. This made me laugh out loud. Upon seeing some high school pictures a friend had posted on FB, my darling daughter looked at me, shook her head and asked if we had been extras in "Dazed and Confused". No respect I'm telling you! Sorry you're not feeling well, it's probably a hex laid on you by a bunch of angry Southerners. Don't say I didn't warn you... Kat

  4. Heh, heh. Looking back at my 'disco' era, I had elephant bell-bottoom jeans and six-inch pink suede platforms - and we won't even talk about the hair.

    Fun post - get better soon (I mean in regards to your illness, not your writing).

  5. Rod used to have some plaid golf slacks. I was horrified every time I saw him leave for a game in those slacks. I called them his "clown pants." They were as scary as polyester! One day they mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again. I think a gollywoggle got them, or maybe it was the foggy monster.

  6. "Irritable Vowel Syndrome?" "Mad Chipmunk Disease?" Tom, you truly crack me up! I hope you're better and continue to improve.

    Your centus us a scream -very visual and with such a great last line.


  7. Ha! I was thinking the same thing myself! So glad the platform shoe, polyester slacks and rayon shirt era is over. (And please don't let it come back!)

  8. I have cast my magic wand to rid you of your germs.

    Oops. I dropped it. Let me try again....

    Anyway, I loved the story. Platform shoes? Haven't we seen a lot of those lately? YEE-GADS!

  9. "Better late than never" and in this case it's so true! This was hysterical my friend!

  10. The wardrobe back then was seriously scary! Hope you feel better, soon! ☮

  11. heehee

    Seriously, though, when I look at our old photos, I can't believe we EVER worse those clothes.



  12. What's wrong with polyester pants and rayon shirt? I still have some in my closet. Are you telling me they're not in fashion anymore?

  13. That was the funniest scariest story I've ever read. You still have your wits about you.
    I hope you feel better.
    PS To make you feel better, I entered my centus AFTER yours.

  14. You sound like someone I dated back in the day LOL. Funny centus.

  15. I was shaking my head in "oh my" while reading about the slip in the poly clothes...well done my friend, well done!

  16. I'd have been more concerned about you wearing polyester. It's almost as though you were channeling the south.

  17. I hope your IVS recovers quickly good use of prompt

  18. That is soooo funny! I am sitting here alone in the kitchen, laughing out loud. Love it!

    By the way, I don't read what other people have written before I post my SC-text. If I have written a story that is very similar to someone elses, so be it.

    I am very late today because I have had trouble getting on line for the past week. So I have lots to catch up on.

    You have written a lovely SC-text! You really fooled me.

    Best wishes,
    Sara Cat sends purrs

    Anna's & Sara's SC-post Week 25

  19. Tom. Geez. Even sick you make me laugh myself silly (er)!

    I hope you're feeling better. I should have sent you a bottle for your birthday planning for future 'vapors' on your part...or perhaps that should have been a case of tums!

    What a funny guy you are! It is always a combination of TRICK and TREAT that makes me grin from ear to ear when I open one of your links.

  20. So glad you could drag yourself from your sickbed to share with us this wonderful tale of lunacy and disco clothes. Though I was hankering for the inappropriate student-teacher love story. UGH.

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