Friday, January 29, 2010

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's iPhone

With the recent unveiling of Apple's overly-hyped iPad the other day, I again got those feelings of Apple envy that first consumed me when the iPhone was initially released onto the gadget-loving masses. For $499 this appears to be a really cool (and reasonably affordable) device for cruising the web, sending emails, watching movies and videos, reading iBooks, listening to music, looking at pictures, running thousands of Apple apps and practically anything else you can do on your computer, but just on a smaller 9.7-inch LED-backlit IPS display with Multi-Touch screen.

Despite the very cool design of this tablet, I think that Apple could have waited a little bit longer and gone a little farther in development of this item before releasing it. Though they are releasing Wi-Fi models in a couple months and a 3G version a few weeks afterwards, it's still really pretty much just like a bigger-screen iPhone without some of its features.

Critics point out that the iPad fails to live up to it's hype by not yet being a viable option to laptops and netbooks. They cite the lack of a WebCam, no flash support, no HDMI, no multi-tasking, an uncomfortable keyboard and other reasons for why it fails to impress. I think I will wait until the later versions are released before I opt to pass judgement on it myself.

Still, the release of the tablet rekindled my interest in the iPhone again. Though I had long since gotten over my lust for an iPhone, and even turned down the opportunity to get one last year, I cannot help being impressed by the many wonderful apps that are available with it these days.

Sure, there's the usual, conventional apps that everyone takes for granted, such as business applications, games, iBooks, music, movies, and social networking stuff, but since its inception there have been so many really cool, weird and funny apps that have sprung up. That's the part I am envious about. I mean, who wouldn't want a phone that also doubled as a harmonica, a Jedi Knight's light saber or a construction level? Here are a few of my favorites:


As the video below explains, this app uses a variety of cartoon mouths which mimic your speech in real time so that the words you speak are animated onto the screen as you talk.


This is a very realistic simulation of drinking a beer. The screen fills with beer such like a glass would fill with beer, including the white foam at the top, and as you tip the "glass" to your mouth, the beer level goes down accordingly. As you can see from the video below, it is a fun gag to watch. Similar apps are available for drinking soda and milk.


Just like the iBeer app, the iPopcorn app starts with popcorn popping on your screen and it moves as you either pour it out or shake it or attempt to eat it. See the video below as words simply do not do it justice.


Sorry, there's no video for iPoo, and yeah, it's probably a good thing. This app was designed to give you something to do while going poo. iPoo brings together people from all over the world who are actively engaged in taking a dump. You can create messages and draw graffiti on the virtual stalls to share with others in the iPoo community, see a map where others are currently going poop and see what has been posted where you are dropping your deuce.


Virtually snorting cocaine is the premise for this iPhone app. Using very realistic imagery (so I'm told!) you use the edge of a credit card to break up the cocaine just as would if you were actually snorting coke (so I'm told!) and form it into separate lines just like real cocaine users do (so I'm told!). Then you can use a straw or rolled up dollar bill just like coke snorters do (so I'm told!) and starting at one end of the line start snorting the cocaine and watch as it magically disappears as if you were really snorting coke (so I'm told!) up into your nose. This is a lovely gag to do in public, and may be one way to expose undercover narcotics agents that may be within your midst (so I'm told!). Check out the video below.


My final app fave is the wildly successful iFart application. Not content to be a simple fart noise machine app, for there are a multitude of those available for iPhone, this app blends a rich tapestry of different fart sounds with elements of interactive social networking (aka Fart Budz) with the ability to prank your fellow "Fart buddies" by sending them random fart sounds when they least expect it. Let's face it, when it comes to making someone laugh, there's nothing that can compare to a really gross, smelly sounding fart. Check out the video.

Okay, admittedly these are not the most useful of apps and sure the gag will get old not long after you have shared them with your friends and co-workers, but for .99 each for most of them it's a cheap laugh. And these days, we can all use a good cheap laugh.


  1. I guess I'm definitely old! I just want a cell phone with which I can make and receive calls. At my age, I can fart on my own without the help of my phone!

  2. My son and his wife both have iPhones. I am constantly amazed by all the applications they have and how these apps organize their lives. Couple their phones with the Roomba, they are living the life of The Jetsons.

  3. Tom, I think the iconic image of today is of a person slouching over a little device and tapping it with two thumbs. What the peace sign was to the '60's, the tapping thumbs will be to today!
    Very funny clips Tom. Now, if they can make the i-Phone actually edible, there would be no more reason for any of us to go outdoors ever again!
    Until that happens---drop by some time!

  4. Thank you all for your comments! Amazing isn't it how this next generation is so dependent upon their electronic devices? How did we ever manage without them? LOL!

    Eva - I'm with you lady, phones are phones, farting is farting and never the twain shall meet, or at least so I thought.

    Me-Me - My kids are the same way. My son recently needed to be seen by a doctor after his fingers went numb. Turns out it is cubital tunnel syndrome, or what they are calling now "cell phone elbow." Methinks moderation might be called for with regards to his cell phone activities.

    Tom S - That is a very astute observation, Tom. I wonder whether this new generation would consider that characterization as a compliment or disrespect? Probably a compliment as they are all very proud at the speed in which they can navigate their cell phones.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I like my BB. To have all I would like to have on an iPod it would have to be so big that one would need a handtruck to move it around. Take a pictjre, text a message, call a friend (if I ever get one) and that is good enough for me. I'll dink a real beer and fart at my leasure.

    For real!

  6. I've got an iTouch. iPhone isn't really my thing.. I know it's pretty much the same only with a phone in it.. but I'm happy with my Nokia for doing the phone stuff.

    I did not know iPoo existed but am about to head to the apps store now. Thanks for the tip!

  7. Technology just scares me to death...

  8. Well, this sure is a technology crazed world. We are never satisfied with what we have. So I guess I am going to consider an Ipad.... lol

    Ifart is an amazing app. My brother had it on his Iphone. Once, I had enabled the "Security Fart". And then he came by to pick his phone. There the embarrassing fart. Once that was over there was another fart. Well, this time it wasn't the phone... lol

  9. My friend who is a teacher has a droid with the farting app on it. She will walk around the classroom while the kids are working quietly with the phone concealed in her hand. She waits until she is in strategic places before she starts hitting buttons. Let's just say the kids love her!!

  10. At first glance I would say the Ipad (We call it the Itampon at our house) looks cool. However, there's nothing remarkable about it. There are no word processing programs, etc. It's just a huge Iphone really. Now if the next generation IPad's come out with an actual OS, as well as word processing tools etc... then I think I might want to buy it.


Please share your comments with me!

Blogs I Am In Awe Of