Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Velveteen Weirdo, A Saturday Centus


Jenny Matlock

Hail Centusians! 

It’s time once again for another fabulously fun foray into the frightfully fleeting fiction of Saturday Centus hosted by that famed flawless fireball of the blogosphere, Jenny Matlock at her blog, off on my tangent

This week our teacher, Ms. Jenny, has a real treat for us to help celebrate the Easter holiday, a big, bare-chested guy wearing a blue velvet bunny suit with a Playboy logo medallion!   

I swear sometimes Ms. Jenny can read our minds and just know exactly what we want for a SC prompt!   It’s uncanny!  And what says Easter better than a mustachioed, hairy-chested man doing his best come hither look wearing a blue crushed velvet bunny suit and sporting a porn magazine logo?  It is awesomeness in its truest (and bluest) form!

As you might have guessed, this week’s assignment is to use the supplied photo as a visual prompt for our 100-word stories.   It’s really a shame that we can’t use more than 100 words on such an awesome subject, but those are the rules and we can’t break the rules because that would throw the world into chaos, and we don’t want that, do we?  Yeah, um...we don't want...hmmm.

Hey!  Did one of you break the rules?

Anyway, thanks for such a festive and entertaining photo prompt, Jenny!  I’m sure we will all have fun with it.    Here is my submission for this week:

The Velveteen Weirdo

“Let me explain! 

I’ve been depressed lately, so I went to a psychologist for help.

To feel better about myself, he suggested I choose someone real or fictional whom I admired and assume their positive characteristics.  He suggested Neil Armstrong, Lou Gehrig, and Nelson Mandela as courageous, outspoken and interesting examples.

Well, I was undecided.  On one hand, I always admired Hugh Hefner.  On the other hand, my favorite story growing up was The Velveteen Rabbit.

I swear, officer, that’s why I am dressed like this.”

“Right, Harvey.  Tell your story to the guys at Belleview, you whackadoo!”

Jenny Matlock
Happy Easter Everyone!


  1. Just because you shaved your beard doesn't mean I can't recognize you.


  2. I love it! great for a belly laugh!

  3. You are just too good at this!


  4. That would be an interesting conversation, wouldn't it! Great story-Happy Easter:@)

  5. Yeh right...Harvey looks like he's been a little to touchy feely with the soft velvet. :0
    I know I can always come here and get a good laugh Tom!~Ames

  6. I enjoy your blog very much and have awarded you the The Versatile Blogger Award. You can pick it up here:

  7. And what was the psychologist wearing, Tom? Hahahahaha!!!!

  8. oh, this was one of my favorites. Great, great job.

  9. Did you find the picture to be as disturbing as I did?

    Great job!

  10. Perfect! "Happy Easter, Tom!"

  11. Well played, Tom. Very fun and silly.
    Happy Easter.

  12. Hi Tom,

    Harvey's getting popular here!
    Best wishes,

    Anna's SC-51-Harvey's Place

  13. That Jenny's a wild one, but how perfect for Easter weekend. Love your take on it. I hadn't noticed his necklace until after I read it and took a second look.

  14. LMAO, fabulous!! I too made a Hugh Heffner referrence... stop in & read it at Defected Mansion

  15. Tom,

    Your title is almost as good as the post! The visual I get from this has my sides aching with laughter.


  16. My eyes! My eyes! I think I see nippage! My eyes!

    hee hee

    This was mighty funny Sir! Me likey!

  17. Great job ! LOL
    If I never see that 'Velveteen Weirdo' again, I will be one happy woman... UGH !

  18. There's no way I can get past the first comment...Just because you shave your beard...ha!

    Okay, laughing too hard here to write anything.

    Tom. You are absolutely the best. The comments here are sooo hilarious, too...nippage?

    Holy cow.

    Okay, I just have nothing else to add. Except my stomach hurts from laughing.


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