My 2009 Happy Halloween High-Fives

Retired Hooters Girls

In honor of Halloween, I wanted to present a tribute to all those brave souls whose creative energies and imagination focus on this day each year. These fun-loving, spirited people fearlessly don wonderfully bizarre or interesting costumes that bring laughter and happiness to all those they encounter. While I still have to give props to those who rent or purchase costumes this time of year, I think a great big high-five should go out especially to those that make their own costumes, often at great expense of time, money and, well....dignity.

Halloween has always been a special holiday for me and I'll admit I've had my share of out-there costumes in the past, but I think as one generation of revelers passes the torch to the next we see people continuing to push the envelope as to the degree of costumed weirdness. Many may find it completely distasteful that there is a 6' tall bloody tampon working his way through the buffet line at this year's Halloween party or be offended by the sight of a trick or treater dressed as a suicide bomber, but who is to say what's taboo anymore?

Let's face it, we have largely outgrown our appreciation for clowns and pirates and vampires because they have become conventional (some would say, corny) and don't elicit the same kind of "wow" response they might have in the past. Even pretending to be celebrities, politicians or TV characters is getting to be kind of stale, so why not crank it up a notch! We need a little shock value to help zap those synapses in our neocortex, and as cute as "Raggedy Ann" might be, it doesn't excite a lot of interest. (Now, a very slutty Raggedy Ann would be a different story.)

Without further adieu, and with the help of our blessed internet, I present some of my favorite Halloween costumes:

This is my friend Tally. This year he decided for Halloween he would go as a "One Night Stand". "But I'm still safe about it," he says. Kudos, my friend, for spreading the word of safe sex as you are spreading....well, never mind.

Now who wouldn't appreciate such a brilliant homage to one of Alfred Hitchcock's most famous thrillers, "The Birds." This bloody blonde beset by blackbirds, made famous in the movie by Tippi Hedren (Melanie Griffith's mom, for you trivia hounds), looks superb as the hapless victim.

With all the attention given Transformers, it's nice that Disney's other robot hero, WALL-E, is getting some recognition. It's great to see what can become of some imagination, a little paint and a cardboard box.

I absolutely love this costume. Thanks to technological advances, (in this case a portable DVD player attached to his front and a small video camera on his back) he effectively pulls off the illusion that he has a great big bloody hole going right through him. Very nice indeed.

I can't forget to give a tip of the hat to pet owners that dress up their dogs or cats with some unique and clever disguises. A three-headed dog? Works for me!

Say what you want about costumes for the ladies, you still can't go wrong dressing like a slut. Whether it is a slutty pirate, a slutty kitty cat, a slutty french maid....it's all good.

"Octomom" may be insipid tabloid fodder for some, but to many she is an eternal spring of humorous pleasures to drink from. I think the lips makes the costume in this instance.

I hope you all have a very safe and enjoyable Halloween this year.

And if you do bump into that certain guy in the buffet line, do yourself a favor and don't ask him for the ketchup. Wow. Really.