Hey Andy, I Don't Think We're In Mayberry Anymore

When the great novelist Thomas Wolfe wrote "You Can't Go Home Again" he wasn't kidding.

I grew up in a quiet suburban town in the San Francisco Bay Area of California called Fremont. I was born here, went to school here, got married and had children here. Then I moved away for about 17 years and now find myself back home in Fremont again. But it is a town I don't know anymore and where the people are not the ones I grew up with.

Sounds like a fairly common scenario these days with immigrants pouring into this country (both legal and illegal) and changing the dynamic and the identity of scores of towns and cities. The quest for a better life in America (plus the added motivation of our generous government services and free medical care, etc.) has driven immigrants by the millions to our shores with dreams of making a better life for themselves and their family. And who can blame them?

Americans are the benchmark by which immigrants measure success. Movies and television shows depict us as wealthy, beautiful, charismatic people (think Beverly Hills 90210) who drive expensive cars, go on expensive holidays and enjoy the finest the world has to offer. If you can succeed here, then you have indeed risen to the top.

With the boon in Silicon Valley the last 10 or 15 years or so, a huge influx of immigrants seeking positions in the high-tech sector swarmed into this area and brought with them their extended families. In no time at all, natural born citizens of this region became minorities in their own hometowns. What followed was a culture shock that continues today.

Please don't misinterpret my message as racist, for that isn't my intent at all. I welcome all races of people and enjoy a measure of cultural diversity because I feel that it makes for a more interesting and multifaceted lifestyle. I enjoy dining at Indian and Asian restaurants and the steady influx of these immigrants brought with them many new restaurant adventures. However I believe that along with the benefits there are some drawbacks as well. Though many feel constrained by political correctness about addressing this issue for fear of being labeled as a racist, I confess that I have feelings that are bubbling up inside me that scream to be released regardless of the consequences.

It was made clear in our most recent census that immigrants now comprise almost two-thirds of the citizens living in our town, and driving around town it's an unmistakeable fact. Everywhere you look there are indications that the new residents of this town have made in indelible mark. Aside from the stores and restaurants that have popped up everywhere, you see the people in their native attire on most every corner. It was also reported that Fremont has the largest concentration of Afghans in the United States. In fact, the main drag going down the center of town, Fremont Boulevard, where high school students cruised for years, now has a new moniker, "Little Kabul," and cruising is now just a fond memory.

No one can stall the march of progress, but I have to ask myself "when is it too much of a good thing?" You can accuse me of being nostalgic for the good old days and maybe you are right. In the old days if you needed to borrow a drill bit or a ladder you could go next door to your neighbors and ask them. Nowadays, though, to do that you have to be quite multilingual or come prepared with an interpreter.

On my street my next door neighbors are Chinese and don't speak English. My neighbors on the opposite side are Russian and don't speak English. Across the street my neighbors are Indian and speak little English and the surrounding houses are home to Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese and Pakistani families, most of which do not speak fluent English. Suffice it to say I have my own ladder and a good selection of drill bits just in case.

It's kind of hard to describe how I feel to people who haven't been put in this situation before. Imagine waking up one morning and instead of being in your hometown you are now living in Bombay, India and the only Americans you see are a few tourists that happen by. That in a nutshell is how I feel. And in a way I resent it. Have things gotten to the point that people that have spent their entire lives here are now put in the position of being that proverbial "fish out of water" and endure the frustrations that it incurs?

"Oh just settle down, Tom. How bad can it be? It's just a bunch of transplanted cultures trying to co-exist with yours and relegating yours into utter obscurity. Nothing to be upset about. I'm sure millions of Americans are probably doing the same thing in their homelands." Maybe that's why it bugs me. There's no quid pro quo!

Language problems are a big issue. Try to order anything from a fast food drive-thru and see how long it takes to get your order placed (and still they get it wrong.) I guess it's too much to ask that clerks, waiters and salespeople speak English. It's only our national language. Well, for now, anyway. In another twenty years it could be Spanish, Farsi, Hindi, Mandarin or one of the many other languages spoken here.

Cultural differences rub a lot of people the wrong way. Americans just assume that people that flee the hardships of their own country and adopt ours as their new home will want to do the complete transformation and learn the language, adopt the culture, styles, attitudes and other features that make us quintessentially American. Nope. In fact, although second generation immigrants find it necessary to learn the language and assimilate into our culture, the first generation is seemingly averse to trying to fit in. As a consequence to this, it becomes our problem to deal with them.

I will give you a couple examples. Recently my wife was witness to a scenario at a Fry's Electronics store here in town. An older Asian lady was trying to return a set of headphones she had purchased over six months ago. She had the receipt and the store clerk tried his best to make her understand that there was a 60-day return policy and that her purchase was made much later than that time period. Her response was to scream loudly "NO...You give money! Give me money! I want now!" This went on for quite some time as one clerk passed her on to an assistant manager and a department manager, both of them failing to get the customer to understand the store policy.

Finally the store manager was summoned and by this time the customer was fuming and screaming "You give me money! I want money for this! I have receipt! Give now!" When the poor woman finally broke down in tears the manager told her that he would honor her receipt but that he could only give her store credit. Again, she couldn't grasp the concept and cried "NOOO! Money!!!! Give me now!" He patiently tried to explain to the customer that store credit was just as good as money but that she had to use it in this store. Again, the crying, the fits, the screaming "No! Give me now! You give me money!" At that point my wife had to leave the store, so we'll never know how it all turned out. One thing for sure, though, it was a very time consuming and emotionally draining episode for all involved.

A similar situation presented itself to me recently at the checkstand of a Safeway grocery store. An Indian woman presented a $1.00 off coupon to the checker for some food items. Unfortunately, the requirements of the coupon clearly stated that in order to get the refund there was a mandatory number of units required. The customer did not have this number and as such was not eligible for the refund. An attempt was made to explain to the customer that she needed to purchase several more of the item in order to use the coupon. Not understanding, the woman began yelling at the checker, thinking she was trying to deny her something she was due. More yelling and screaming ensued and the store manager finally intervened. As the line behind began to grow and the prospect of this woman accepting the fact that she would not get the $1.00 off was never going to happen, the store manager told the checker to honor the coupon and just make a notation on it.

On one hand, I was grateful for the manager's intervention and help in moving the line along, but it did bother me that he had to capitulate like that just because of a cultural barrier that he had no control over. I wonder what I would have done in those instances if I were the store manager. Probably the same thing. Sad that we have to be put in those situations in the first place though. But until these immigrants make the commitment to assimilate into our culture, which includes learning our language, this scenario and others like it are destined to play out again and again.

Many of the Indian immigrants have gained a reputation over the years of being pushy, rude, cheap and immensely arrogant. I mentioned this to an Indian co-worker and she said, "oh, those are the Southern Indians. We Northern Indians don't behave that way." Not so. The ever-divisive Indian culture recalls an ancient caste system where people still live in accordance with the divisions of social strata that apply to them, from the very rich and powerful to the lowly "untouchables." When these high caste Indians move to America they bring with them an arrogant air about them. Many are wealthy and are not shy about flaunting their materialistic side by wearing lots of gold and diamonds and driving expensive autos. They also feel like they can get away with anything, as they do in India. This is particularly irritating if you happen to be driving on the street with some of them, as I've found out!

My Indian co-worker told me that the reason that Indian people sometimes act aggressively and abruptly to us "whites" (as they call us) is that they are afraid of us and often behave in a way that will show strength so they will be taken seriously and not be taken advantage of. Oh brother! I have another theory. Maybe, just maybe, a lot of Indian people are just jerks. Most people know that you catch more flies with honey. Maybe instead of closing themselves off into their own private little worlds and being anti-social, they could try being a friend and see where that takes them. And by the way, as long as they are being friendly, it wouldn't hurt to tip their waiter once and awhile too! LOL!

Probably one of the most shocking displays of arrogance happened to me a few days ago. Parked in the parking lot of our local mall I noticed a young Indian man and his son pull up and walk toward the bookstore. A couple minutes later they returned holding armfuls of hibiscus flowers they had stolen from the bush sitting in front of the bookstore. I was speechless at the total gall of someone stealing flowers so blatantly like that and being so at ease about it. What does this teach his son? It makes you wonder exactly where they would draw the line. I mean, would they landscape their yard with plants taken from neighbor's yards? Or would they draw a distinction where there is none?

As an American I do welcome our new residents and feel that they should be extended most every courtesy we as natural-born citizens are heir to. All I ask is that they show the rest of us some respect and try to assimilate into our culture. There's no need to be so inconsiderate and obnoxious toward us. We are glad for you that you have money, but we are not untouchables and you have no more right to try to rub our noses in it as you would them, no matter how crudely the third world teachings of your culture tell you to behave.

Winning The War On Terrorism

We can win the war in Afghanistan!

How many conquerors and nations throughout history have made that proclamation only to find that, thousands of casualties later, they were sadly mistaken. And now, as the death toll of American soldiers continues to escalate, it makes you wonder if maybe we aren't being led down the same path toward destruction.

Maybe it's having a son of military service age that puts it in perspective for me, I don't know, but the bottom line is I don't want any of our children to continue to be needlessly killed or maimed in Afghanistan. Continuing to use the same ground force tactics will only lead to protracted warfare that will serve only to cost the American people thousands of lives of their young men and women and billions of dollars that could be better spent to help Americans during the economic nightmare that has settled over our country.

And what do we get for our sacrifices to this endless bloodshed? Peace of mind? Does anyone really believe that eradicating Al Quaida from one country is going to quell the march of terror that is their radical religion? No, I think we can all agree that these Muslim extremists are here to stay. Even as we fight them on the battlefields today, more are being born and indoctrinated into this "holy jihad" life as we speak. They are already all over the world, including the United States, just waiting for the signal to poison water and food supplies, destroy infrastructure and cause economic chaos.

Only through good fortune and the efforts of our intelligence community have we been spared more 9/11 type attacks. I believe it is paramount that we Americans maintain our diligence and expand our efforts so that we can ferret out these terrorists from our midst and upset their plans at killing more innocent people. One way to reduce the threat is to uncover where the terrorist's safe houses are located, close down mosques, businesses and schools that give aid and shelter to these fiends, and imprison those that aid their cause. Exposing these terrorist cells and breaking up their support networks is key to defeating them and protecting ourselves.

I have to agree that withdrawing our troops will ultimately only lead to bolstering the confidence of Al Quaeda and the Taliban in their efforts to launch new attacks at the U.S. and it's allies using Afghanistan as their host country. So what can we do? I know a lot of people on our radical fringe have a solution they feel will suffice. They say, "We should just find out where they are and drop a friggin' nuke on them sum' bitches and send 'em all to Allah!" Yeah. That's a great plan. If only it were just that easy. Let's just invite them all to stand on a bullseye in the middle of the desert and tell them we are taking a group portrait by satellite, then just vaporize the lot. Yeah. Some people should just stick to whittlin' and leave the thinking to others.

We find ourselves in a classic Catch-22 situation where we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. There's no question in my mind that the threat of terrorism needs to end, and quickly. And my feeling is that we cannot succeed on our own because, as we proved in Vietnam, the American government will eventually withdraw their support of an unpopular war. We need help from the other super-powers if we are to prevail in this struggle.

Not surprisingly, despite the global implications if the war on terror were to fail, the U.S. military is basically on its own to fight and die to protect not just our country, but the rest of the world as well, with little or no help from the rest of the world's military. I guess the Russians still have a bad taste in their mouths from their earlier attempts at war with Afghanistan and the Chinese are more interested in sitting this one out than sparing any of their two million troops for the cause. Where is Genghis Khan when you need him? Seriously, it will take a lot more manpower (more than our country could muster) and the concerted efforts of combined military might to rout these insurgents from their caves and mountain strongholds and finally bring peace to this region.

I know that this opinion won't be shared by many of my more liberal friends and readers, but then I tend to be choosy about my dogma and have no use for those that "follow the party line" rather than their own feelings. We all want to believe that "peace in our time" is an attainable goal, but like most worthwhile things, it does come with a cost.

Hopefully it won't take another 9/11 or death squads of suicide bombers walking into our children's classrooms and detonating their devices to get the attention of a nation that has lost its focus on terrorism with the current distraction of our participation in Iraq's civil war.

Smiling Dogs and Random Musings

9/11 Date - Was It Random Or Not?

The anniversary of the September 11^thattack is just days away and in addition to the anguish and pain many of us are forced to relive on this somber occasion (punctuated by hours of television retrospectives and talk show banter) it occurred to me that maybe there might have been more than just a coincidence that the date chosen was also the same three numbers, 9 – 1 – 1, that we use to dial in the case of an emergency. Could it be that there was some marketing guidance in the choice of the date? Did someone consult an expert and discover that the best way to keep the fear of that terrible day ever-present would be to associate it with a number we are all taught as small children to turn to when dire circumstances present themselves? Is it strange that a series of numbers that prior to that day were associated with police, fire and medical emergencies is so quickly transformed into an icon of terrorism and fear? I don’t know if terrorists have publicists or whatever, but if so, they did one hell of a job.

Smiling Dogs Smell Yo' Fries

My dog Ringo is the happiest dog of all. With lots of sunshine, good food, plenty of water, tons of love and attention, cozy places to snooze, more toys than most toddlers and a trusty sidekick to wrestle with, he might be the most spoiled non-pedigreed dog around.

He (and his brother Rufus) are the canine loves of my life and I find so much peace and joy in sharing it with them. I was told that Ringo is part Chihuahua, part Beagle and part Rat Terrier, but to me and my wife, he is all cuddle-dog. His weapon of choice is his patented love-flop where he throws his body on you in such a way that his head is resting on your chest, his soft, chestnut-colored eyes gazing placidly at yours, as he snuggles ever-closer to you. Ahh, sweet contentment...thy name is Ringo.

Rufus, His brother-by-another-mother, is another amazing cuddle-dog in his own right and has an uncanny ability to lick you in the mouth (yes, I said IN) with his lightning quick tongue. He also loves to climb up on you and do the doggy version of hugging and kissing. He is decidedly more a mommy's dog so attends to my wife wherever she goes. He is very loving and very expressive and will sometimes sing when the mood strikes him. Together with Ringo they are a cuddle tag team that can't be stopped! Yes, so intruder beware!

The smaller of the two dogs, Rufus is a mix of Chihuahua and West Highland Terrier, but his size in no way prevents him from laying the occasional smack-down on Ringo. Even so, Ringo has an interesting spinning butt-kick that he employs quite effectively when the wrestling reaches a fever pitch. Rufus is getting quite adept of ducking out of the way of it most times, but when it lands it is a most potent weapon.

Both of the dogs love to lie beside us in bed and sit (or sprawl, as the case may be) on our laps as we watch TV. They follow us from room to room and outside to the backyard. I know many will roll your eyes at this, but it's true. They watch with extreme interest whenever we eat because they know my wife and I are a soft touch for those sad, puppy dog eyes and that a portion of our food is always reserved for them. People food? Perish the thought you say? Well, granted in time it may shorten their lives, but I like to think they are happier with lasagna than some combination of ill-smelling swill with "meat by-products" from who knows what. And besides, they don't get a lot of table scraps, they do have regular dry and wet dog food as well to round out their diets. At any rate, they aren't complaining.

Our boys live for treats, which we generously dole out throughout the day. I know some people may have issues with how we let our dogs behave and the freedoms they enjoy, but to us they are a close part of the family that we love like our children. It’s an understanding that other dog people share. Who wouldn’t love an animal that has such an amazing capacity for caring and giving to his family. We just believe such devotion deserves a reward.

Thank you, Ringo and Rufus. I can only hope that we bring you some of the same happiness and joy that you bring us.