Name That Baby, Part 2!

Well, I guessed wrong, guys!  

When my daughter Lissa announced a few weeks ago that she was expecting a child in September, like many others, I assumed that it would be a boy thanks to both mine and her husband Jon’s family history of predominantly male offspring.  

So, to be helpful, I wrote an article for my blog proposing several potential boy names that I liked for their consideration. She had her gender reveal shortly thereafter, and I’m delighted to share with the whole blogiverse that she is expecting a baby girl! 

To add to that excitement, my other daughter, Shannon, who just gave birth to her first child (a gorgeous little girl named Ann Marie) last October, is expecting baby #2 a month later in October.  Fortunately, she is pretty sure what her baby’s name will be already.

(Must be something in the water there in SoCal!)

While Lissa does have a tentative first name selected already, she and Jon still haven’t quite finalized their decision yet.  She teased us with a clue saying it was sort of an homage to my mother, her grandma, Sally.  

Later, after numerous bad guesses, she revealed that the name they both agreed on was “Rosalie,” which sounds a little like “Ro-Sally.”  My wife and I both agree that it is a cute name.  As far as middle names go, the field is still wide open. 

Again, that’s my cue to provide yet more unsolicited name suggestions.  (I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true, I am a crazy awesome granddad.) 

These days, nothing is off the table when it comes to baby names.  While types of flowers like Violet and Rose have long been the source of names, now babies are being named after trees, fruit, mountains, streams, and all things nature.  

Types of food (Candy, Cookie, Pork Chop, Goober) are another subject ripe with potential baby names.  Likewise, we see children named after places, gemstones and jewels, weather (i.e., Stormy), animals, days of the week, and anything else young minds can think up.

The problem is, of course, that young minds can be quite creative, and the consequences of their poor judgement can be dire. An awful name can tag the unfortunate child for ridicule and handicap them socially for a lifetime. They must choose wisely when selecting names for their offspring.  

Examples of names gone horribly wrong include: “Sex Fruit,” “Number 16 Bus Shelter,” “Gay Rape,” “Keenan Got Lucy,” “Tallulah Does the Hula from Hawaii,” “Violence,” and “Yeah Detroit.” 

In looking at possible girl names, I again searched my soul and called upon the mystical powers that be to provide some divine inspiration.  Words that might possibly be considered names, in an unconventional sense, anyway, such as “collywobbles,” “yitten,” “bunghole,” “pronk,” “bumfuzzle,” and “skirl,” flooded into my mind.  

Personally, of the six, I don’t think “pronk” is an appropriate girl’s name, but I don’t want to judge.  Who am I to argue with the powers that be?  Lissa’s requirement for a name still stands that it must have a cool, potential nickname. (That alone would probably disqualify “Pronk.”  The other five might prove difficult as well in that regard.)

That in mind, here are ten (better!) potential first and middle names and nicknames befitting up-and-coming little princesses.  They include:

1.       Ginger – This was the name of my neighbor’s dog, but that shouldn’t necessarily disqualify it.  It does have a cute nickname of Ginny.

2.       Primrose – A name stolen from The Hunger Games, I like the shortened version, Prim.

3.       Cassidy – A popular name with a popular nickname, Cassie, as well.

4.       Winona – Native American meaning “first-born daughter.”  Winnie or Nonnie are cute nicknames!

5.       Adeline – A cute name with a matching cute Addie nickname.

6.       Emersyn – A unique twist on the spelling makes it cool, and it has a cute nickname of Emmy.

7.       Kiana – Meaning “divine” in Hawaiian, it has a fun nickname of KiKi.

8.       Cora – A cute and already short name, but with nicknames like Coco and Cory.

9.       Delaney – An Irish name that can be shortened to Laney or Lane.

A        Alexis - I always liked this one, and it can be shortened to Lexis, Lexi, Lex, Alex, and Allie.

There were several honorable mentions that were highly considered, but ultimately these names failed to make the final cut. They included Colbie, Schuyler, Blake, Coral, Lyric, Aubrey, Zena, Ireland, Hunter, Dakota (j/k), Quinn, Piper, Margot, Harmony, Sawyer, Fallon, Blythe, Toby, and Whitley.  Unfortunately, they failed the smell test for cool nicknames or were otherwise deemed problematic. 

Middle names are not quite as critical as first names, but regardless, decisions still must be made about them.  The good thing about them is that they can be as creative as you want since most people’s middle names remain generally anonymous. That means that if you want to give your child an unusual or weird name, this is your opportunity!  

You don’t have to go along with the usual suspects, such as Elizabeth, Jane, Anne, Marie, Rose, Catherine, Lynn, or Nicole.  Those are fine, of course, but compared to names like Nutella, Hashtag, Covid, Doorman, or Tarantula, they lack that quirky pizzazz.

I’m sure whatever baby name Jon and Lissa decide on, it will be a very clever, unique, and wonderful name that, like the baby herself, we will all grow to love.  It will be a name that will be undoubtedly embroidered, cut into shapes, foil stamped, embossed, engraved, and otherwise crafted hundreds of times…and that’s just during her first year!  

We’re so very excited for these two incredible people and the amazing journey they’ve begun and look forward to being a small part of it.

You never know when you are going to be crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile, or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics.  It might be like living with a drug addict.

- Blake Lively