Sunday, September 19, 2010

Losing It, A Saturday Centus

.

Jenny Matlock


“Welcome to the 20th week of Saturday Centus, that wildly popular literary game show hosted by Jenny Matlock at her blog, off on my tangent!”     

(Uproarious applause explodes from the audience as they rise from their seats in a frenzy of enthusiasm.)

“As you know each week writers battle each other out trying to write the most amazing little stories with only 100 words using a supplied prompt, a phrase or sentence that must be used in its original form anywhere within the story and does not count toward the word limit.   And what are the other rules of this meme, audience?”

“No pictures and no vulgarity!” they loudly exclaim in unison.

“That’s right!  That means you can’t use words like &#$@ or $#*^!  or even &#@*$ - #%!  And you can’t post pictures.  And once they finish writing their stories, our partakers of petite prose link them up to Jenny’s meme post so that we can all share their takes on the prompt with one another.  How does that sound to everybody?”

“Yay!!!  Hooray for Centus!  Hooray for Centus!  We love you, Jenny!”

(The crowd goes wild.)

“And now friends, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer.  This week’s prompt comes to us courtesy of Tina!  And heeeeerre it is!”   

"This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.

“Now all of you wind up your thinking caps and get busy writing those 100 word dinky dramas!  And for all you watching at home, you are all welcome to join in and play Saturday Centus too!   Go, Centusian, go!!!"  

(More thunderous applause is heard.)

Here is my attempt at this week's Saturday Centus challenge.  I hope I win.  I really want that collection of ladies watchbands from Speidel. It's always been a dream of mine.  I don't know why.   I have entitled this one:


Losing It


At 92, Agnes was a spry and happy resident of the Sundown Vista Retirement Home.  But seeing her rubbing a wet washrag against her bedroom floor, you could tell she had other issues.

"This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.

“Why not use the awesome stain-fighting power of OxiClean, Agnes?” boomed a voice from nowhere.

“Who said that?  Is that you Billy?”

The image of Billy Mays shimmered before her eyes.

“It cleans, it brightens, it eliminates odors from imaginary stains,” he said.

“I know, Billy!”  Agnes replied as she held out her Super Poligrip. 

“I’m not just getting it clean, I’m getting it OxiClean!”



Jenny Matlock

Try it!  You'd have to be crazy not to!

.

29 comments:

  1. This was sad, funny and totally original. Great take on the prompt. Glad you enjoyed my little barb in my intro - just kidding you know :) And thanks for your always kind words, they help keep me writing when sometimes I'd rather play on Facebook LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Glad to see your post pop up, as your takes are always original and pause for thought. This week was no exception. Great pondering of prompt caused your great post, I am sure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are quite simply a JOY to read!

    ReplyDelete
  4. that was funny! lol different take.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was super great! I hope I am just as batty when I am 92. LOL. Loved it!~Ames

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL, too funny. I was wondering where you were going with this. I should have known it would be somewhere zany. Good job ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Superb! :D
    I don't know how you do it time after time. To be honest, I have tried (secretly) my hand on these and it was a total no-go. I am a motor mouth in written form too, it seems. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for the shout-out, Tom. This was a delicious take! And as always, your intro rocked it. (Don't tell the others...but your intros are the funniest. Always.) Go Agnes, and RIP Billy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Too much t.v.,Tom! However, it was an interesting take. HAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was fabulously funny, Tom! I could see and hear it all. Hmm, perhaps Agnes and I need to share some medication.
    Cheers, and thanks again for your encouragement to join these centusian challenges.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was expecting a murder mystery...totally surprised!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You never fail to make me laugh, Tom. And your intro is as funny as your entry. You have so much talent!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This was great! Looking forward to checking out the rest of your stuff. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your writing is very clean...Oxiclean ;-) Funny #%*&...Peace and blessings

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hmmm... kinda makes ME want to be haunted by Billy's ghost.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Cheeky! We have an equivilent ad & cleaner here in the UK!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Meow! This is so sad and so funny and so original! Great take on this challenge! What a clever guy you are!
    Purrs,
    Sara Cat
    Sara Cat's SC Week #20

    ReplyDelete
  18. :-) Surreal and splendid! I loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Clever!

    Me likey.

    Note to self: buy some Oxiclean.

    hee hee

    ReplyDelete
  20. Omg weird! I was going to do something in the same informercial cleaning vain, but was going to use shout or the sham wow and couldn't figure out how to get it to work. This works so well and is really funny!

    It's scary to think about though, because I know craziness can be passed down through generations, and I'm already hearing Billy Mays voice in my head when evaluating any product.

    ReplyDelete
  21. haha how funny. I know i shouldnt prob laugh really as I know there are some people like that:) But it was the 'imaginary stain' bit that got me.

    Tina

    ReplyDelete
  22. LMAO - priceless. Just perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  23. A sad and funny text. Very good!

    I am following your blog now!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's SC-Week-20

    ReplyDelete
  24. This was as brilliant as Oxy clean!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hmmm.... my amazingly witty comment is obviously floating around somewhere in blogland.

    I can never repeat my original amazing word skills in this second comment so I will just settle by saying...

    "You're a nut!"

    ReplyDelete
  26. Tom, you are the BOMB! Billy Mays back to help Agnes is priceless. If you see him, would you have him my e-mail address? My teeth are a mess.

    As usual,
    Thanks..........cj

    ReplyDelete

Please share your comments with me!

Blogs I Am In Awe Of