Large Hadron Collider. What a waste of time.
Isn’t it incredible? Now we don’t have to risk serious injuries by struggling with heavy, awkward kitchen appliances! Using the Handy Caddy, we can quickly and easily slide our blenders, coffee makers, knife blocks, toasters and other backbreakingly cumbersome countertop apparatus several inches forward for easy access. Even children and the elderly can now make toast without the assistance of someone else!
If you are like me and struggle with cracking open eggs without having the yolks and pieces of shell end up all over the stove top, counter, floor, walls, ceiling and all over your clothes, this product is a godsend. With the EZ Cracker, if I want to make a two-egg omelet all I need is two eggs. I don't need to use a dozen eggs and a sponge to get the required amount of egg yolk material. And what's better, I don't have to worry about ingesting razor sharp egg shells with my food and having to contend with emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding. Such a time saver!
There you have it my friends! It's nice to see that there are still people out there who are thinking of us, the poor, simple, slightly retarded American public, and that they have dedicated their lives to bringing us things that make our lives so much easier and which help us deal with our anxiety over not being able to do things that other, more intelligenter people can do. Now I am just waiting for someone to come up with a product that wipes my ass and I will be completely set.