Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Nightmare At Church And State

I’m laying in bed, unable to sleep, watching television when a documentary about the civil unrest taking place in America comes on and discusses how protests and riots are practically all that’s seen on the news these days and how we are helpless to stop the violence and bloodshed being brutally handed out by the government’s morality security forces, the “Dark Angels.”

Wait. What?

The show continued on showing liberals and the members of the Frappucino Party waving protest signs claiming that the President is leading the country toward a theocracy and demanding an end to the burning of books, music and movies that might have the slightest tinge of impiety. Banners saying “Stop revising our history books with your lies” and “Kill the Bill” referring to the National Dress Code Bill, which would force everyone to adopt a uniform style from the 50’s…no the 1850’s, are displayed throughout the crowd.

Hold on, this has to be some kind of a …what the hell?

The narrator spoke...

“The death spiral toward full governmental control of individual freedoms began when the then President Jack Harroldsen became ill and died shortly after taking office in 2009, leaving his Vice President, the Reverend Billy Joe Hickom, a former governor of Kentucky and twice mayor of Higginsville, MO (Pop. 4,571) to assume the Presidency and institute some drastic changes on the political landscape.

Hickom had been a third-rate governor, noted for his many failures, incompetence and the ease at which he alienated everyone, even those in his own party and staff. The choice of Hickom as VP candidate was incredulous to any and all that knew of him. The media, in fact, had generously referred to him as a “half-wit legislator without an ounce of integrity nor common decency.” Yet President Harroldsen sought him out because he knew a loss with such a man on the ticket would drive the Democrats raving mad. He hadn’t counted on that aneurism months after the election that claimed his life and propelled this fundamentalist Christian whack-job to the highest position in the land.”

No friggin’ way! This is too crazy to be true. Isn’t it? This has got to be a Twilight Zone episode or something.

The narrator continued…

“What followed came to be known as the ‘Church Wars’ as the different denominations fought each other to become the official religion of the United States. It was a violent time in America where you were judged harshly, even shunned or worse, based on the church you attended. Eventually there was just one church, the newly formed American Church, which was also known as the Presbapticostal Church. Those who espoused religions other than Christianity were beaten and tortured until they either died or converted to the American Church. Atheists and agnostics found religion quickly, otherwise they simply disappeared never to be seen again.

Under the direction of President Hickom, a new law was passed with the help of his newly named Rebiblical Party, in which a systematized method of pay-as-you-go redemption was instituted. People with enough money could purchase "Salvation Points" whereas for the right price any penalties or infractions you incurred could be wiped clean with no lingering stigma attached to your reputation.

For example, Senator Hume Gifford, (R-NC) was charged 70 “Salvation Points” after being caught in a motel room with a young black male exotic dancer with whom the Senator claimed he was discussing the bible. According to sources involved in the investigation, the Senator was expounding on the concept of “turning the other cheek” in one sense of the phrase. He was released from custody and had his record expunged after he paid the fine (approximately $7.5 million dollars US).

Not everyone got off so easily. Farmers in rural Kentucky were strongly advised to keep their relationships with their livestock purely on a platonic basis after one of their own, Cyrus Dillon of Knob Lick, KY, was caught violating the code of morality with a sheep. He was summarily beheaded.”

Images flash on the screen of women and children crying as their husbands and fathers are chained and loaded like cattle onto waiting transport trucks. Their eyes portend a sense of hopelessness and defeat as the trucks head to an underground complex where prisoners of the “Dark Angels” are given the opportunity to make peace with God before they are individually executed for their crimes against the church. The new state cable channel televises the executions and replays them around the clock. “Subject Before God” boasts the highest ratings of any show currently showing on television, moreso than “The 700 Club” even.

At a break in the show the narrator reminds that citizens are obligated to report anyone that they believe is guilty of a crime of immorality and briefly goes over the reward point system that is established to encourage people to inform on their friends, teachers, co-workers and even family members. The greater the crime the greater the point values. Special accommodations are made in death penalty cases involving abortion, adultery and unrepentant homosexuality.

No way the radical religious right could ever take dominion over our country. Our free-thinking society would never stand for their takeover of our cherished institutions such as our schools, our government, our literature and arts, our entertainment media and news media, our science and medical research endeavors…and certainly not our sports teams!

As the narrator discusses the President’s mission to cleanse the country of the stain of secular humanism and how everyone who espouses those beliefs are to be considered agents of Satan whether they be politicians, writers, housewives, teachers, students, or other wrong-thinking intellectual opponents of America’s new model of society, the sounds of machine gun fire and rocket explosions nearly drown him out as the camera pans to show homes and buildings burning and the masses of charred bodies of the young and old smoldering in the streets.

Suddenly I am jolted awake from my slumber to find myself covered in sweat with my heart racing excitedly. Quickly I switch the TV to CNN and see Republicans spitting at congressmen, yelling “Baby Killer” on the House floor at fellow congressmen, and using all manner of hateful and vile language at Democratic members of Congress. There were those radical right-wing activists, those Tea Partiers, and they were calling President Obama things like Hitler, the Anti-Christ, and labelling him as being Marxist and Fascist and Communist and Socialist (because they can’t all be wrong, right?) and spreading their ignorant hatred and contempt for our elected leaders in every disgusting way imaginable, including violence and destruction of property…and all in the name of freedom from oppression.

Ohhhh….it was only a dream. Everything was back to normal again.

That’s the last time I ever go to bed watching the news.

"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."
- Sinclair Lewis


  1. Dude....the fuck? You definitely need to lay off the news before bed. Also, whatever you ate before bed? Might want to lay off that too. Perhaps a nice warm cup of tea before bed?


    Big day today my friend!

  2. I'm failing to see how your dream is much different than our reality...I know, it is by far, but the reality of the situation is, is that our current Pres isn't far off from bringing America to some sort of different standard that we will protest and hitch our skirts up over. We are being bullied into healthcare, but yet can't afford it, we are being bullied into poverty and like anybody can afford THAT... Our new pres has done nothing but put us further into debt and once we are all drowning, no money or homes of our own, he will offer resolution by offering points in which you can earn back your homes, earn back your life, by bowing to satan himself....

    All a bunch of ass fucking if you ask me....God I hate politics. Politics are nothing more than hypocrites wearing big money shoes, plunging their big penis's into little boys when nobody's looking!! arg.

  3. Good one. You really have a way with words! BTW, do you ever watch Keith Oberman? He had an excellent commentary last night.

  4. The only thing that I know about politics is that no matter how hard they fight and hate each other, nothing ever really seems to change.

  5. I completely agree with your last paragraph. the entire country never really wanted to protest against the biggest idiot ever elected to office, and yet now they're practically marching to burn down DC. It's sick. T'm tired of the ignorant hatred.

  6. Thanks all for your lovely comments. I know there are a lot of opinions on this President and the current situation our nation is in, but I think we can all agree that there are better ways to resolve our differences, especially among our elected officials, than using hate filled images, language and actions designed only to feed the furor and mute the call for real action. I appreciate your feedback and look forward to more in the future.

    @ Zgirl - As always, you are right on with your comments! Some nights I need to just mellow out and not dwell on the news. Perhaps a nice spot of tea would do the trick. Or sex. Whatever.

    @ Hillbilly - I completely see your side of the argument and know that there are a lot of people that share your opinions. But things are not always as they seem from either side so I'm hoping that whatever truth manages to free itself and rise to the surface, it is one we can both embrace and feel good about. Interesting metaphors by the way!

    @ Eva - My friend, I love watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann. His commentary (and also those from Rachel Maddow) are not only concise and delivered with a sarcastic smirk, but very well thought out and researched. I love the show but unfortunately missed it last night. Thanks for your kind words.

    @ Otin - You are quite correct. You know the whole political process needs an upgrade when our elected representatives on both sides of the aisle are more concerned with looking out for the interests of their corporate sponsors and garnering support for their own re-election than doing the job they were elected to do and serve the public interest. I keep hoping for a change but it's always off in the distance.

    @ SJT - You totally understand where I'm coming from. Sure it's alright to be at odds when discussing things of such magnitude as health reform, that's what the process is all about, rational discussion and compromise. But there's nothing rational about the things that are being said and done. There's hatred and fearmongering and idiot pundits that are egging the angry mobs to get all the more violent all the time. As Rush Limbaugh said on his show the other day “We need to defeat these bastards. We need to wipe them out.” Not the voice of reason you might hope for, but instead the voice of revolt and a call to angry violence. Way to go, dickhead.

  7. Not every conservative, Christian, Republican believes or behaves this way. I don't and I won't. Even though Ms. Pelosi states I am un-American if I disagree with my president, I will disagree through my vote,not ignorant words or actions.

    Well written but I am thankful it was your nightmare and not my reality.

    BTW.....Is there a grandbaby yet??

  8. Hi Marla!

    I agree that not all do this. It's a shame and a huge embarrassment for America that there are those that do. Nobody wants to be perceived as a fool and that's how we look to other nations overseas whenever some yahoo starts spouting hate and ignorance and being generally obnoxious. What's worse is we have Glenn Beck, Rush and Palin urging them on to even greater feats of stupidity and violence. Sad that people can't exercise their right to choose at the polls and then accept the results without wanting to destroy the government when they don't get their way. Props to you Marla for showing them the right way to do it!

    Yes, our little grandbaby has arrived. I put up a pic of him a couple posts ago. Sir David is a stocky lil' fella who enered the world weighing in at 7 lbs, 10 oz. and 19 1/2" long. Go check him out.

  9. Hi there, thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I thought, I'd click on your link and see what's up over here. Well, I'm very glad I did! Very interesting and well written! If you don't mind, I'm going to tag along!
    thanks again

  10. If I didn't know any better, I'd be guessing you're a wee bit stressed right now..? (Grin) I recommend a nice, relaxing mug of horlicks, and a deep foot massage before you next turn into bed - works for me! Oh, and turn over to Fox, it'll make it seem better.

  11. The way I see it, there is not a dime's worth of difference between any of them! I don't watch the news anymore. Instead, I throw myself into the nonsense over at BRAVO, at least they are not hurting anyone.

  12. I think I may be in love with you. :-)


    p.s. Grandbaby?! Congrats!!


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