An Incredible Day, A Saturday Centus

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Hi everyone!  It’s been awhile since I posted anything.  I’ve been busy unpacking and settling into our new place in Arizona and haven’t paid much attention to the blog.  But the itch to write is strong and luckily for me I have Jenny Matlock’s continuing meme Saturday Centus to keep me inspired.  Yes, I know, it’s not Saturday, but I got a note from Ms. Matlock, so settle down.  You still have time to post your own story for week 178 by going to Jenny’s website, off on my tangent.

This week Jenny has given us the word “Amazing” as our prompt and instructed us not to use it in our stories.  Instead we are to write a story or poem that reflects the concept of amazing without stating it.  Oh, and it is supposed to be no more than 100 words and not include any vulgarity.     

Well, one out of two isn’t too bad, right? 

Here is my somewhat expanded entry for this week.  I have entitled it:

An Incredible Day

"Hi honey, I’m home!  I have a surprise for you!"

"Aww, Rainbow Roses, my favorite!"

"Well, I heard about a florist downtown that carried them so I got you a couple dozen just to say I love you." 

"How sweet of you!  How was your day?"

"It was crazy.  First, I was struck by lightning walking to my car.  Then at work the owner came by my cubicle and told me how much he appreciated my excellent contributions to his company and promoted me to vice president!  At lunch I went home and put together an Ikea Entertainment Center wall unit while watching an entire episode of Honey Boo Boo without feeling sorry for humanity.  On the way back to work I stopped for gas.  Only $2.36 per gallon, can you believe it?  I asked the guy for directions to the flower shop and was heading back to my car when I was struck by lightning again.  Later at work I met with the local Tea Party leadership and convinced them to fully support all of President Obama’s initiatives.  They even decided that abortions were an okay form of birth control.  It was weird.”

“Enough!  I call shenanigans!” 

“Why?  Don’t you believe me?”

“No.  There’s no way you asked for directions.”

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

                                                      --  Dave Barry