Crazy About Christmas, A Saturday Centus

Well I'm back again, this time to post more Saturday Centus 100 word (106 actually) silliness for week 138 of this fun writing meme from the creatively fertile mind of our dear Ms. Jenny Matlock from her blog, off on my tangent.  

This week's assignment was to incorporate the six words "On the 13th day of Christmas" into our written pieces, which must be in the style of song lyrics.  This week's tardy submission is called:

Crazy About Christmas

On the first day of Christmas 

My girlfriend gave to me, 

A dead squirrel in a tree. 

On the second day of Christmas 

I couldn’t believe my eyes 

her outstretched palm held 

two frozen French fries. 

On the ten days that followed 

the gifts were just as weird: 

three rolls of pennies 

four cigarette butts 

five grocery bags 

six clumps of dirt 

Seven cans of beets 

Eight stinky socks! 

Nine cardboard tubes 

Ten used Q-tips 

Eleven dryer sheets 

And twelve rotten eggs. 

On the thirteenth day of Christmas 

I’d finally had my fill, 

To a psych ward she went 

She was clearly mentally ill. 

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. 

                                                          Demetri Martin 

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