The Right Kind of Pizza, A Saturday Centus

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It's Saturday which means it is Centus time!  This is that one time of the week when I stretch my writing muscles and attempt to write some micro-fiction based upon a supplied prompt from Jenny Matlock, our Centusian spiritual leader and the host of her blog, off on my tangent.

For week 70 Jenny has given us the prompt "what kind of pizza is this" and directed us to write a story or poem using 100 words or less plus the prompt words.  No vulgarity and no splitting the prompt is allowed, but pictures are okay this week.   I went a little over on the word count, but it's only because I love pizza and  my words fell like toppings from that great big Domino's Pizza in the sky and it seemed almost sacrilegious to slice them away.

Yeah, I didn't think you would buy that one either.

Speaking of cutting things, my story takes on a more political bent this week as I try to mentally grapple with the batcrap crazy Republican sideshow that is playing out in the media each day.  In a way, then, this story is a form of therapy for me as it allows me to vent my frustration with the right-wing wackos and what the media calls their "low information" base (code word for ignorant hicks).

The setup for this story is an interview with a pizza restaurant owner who delivers to Capitol Hill lawmakers during those important late-night sessions where the most critically important issues facing our country are discussed, debated and voted on such as naming post offices and courthouses, a resolution commending the University of Georgia gymnastics team for winning a championship, and most importantly, a resolution proclaiming a National Corvette Day.  Ah, it just makes you proud to be an American, doesn't it?

Here is my contribution for this week.  I have entitled it:

The Right Kind of Pizza

“Making pizzas for Washington D.C. lawmakers is hard.  Their tastes, like their politics, run to the extreme.  We've named a few pizzas after them to simplify their orders.

Our Michelle Bachmann pizza uses only all-white cheeses on a cracker-thin crust topped with olives (not black olives!) and pine nuts.

The Ron Paul pizza is just a crust.  You add your own toppings at home like our Founding Fathers would have done.

The Rick Perry pizza has one giant meatball on a thin crust with lots of fake cheese."

“So what kind of pizza is this?” 

“Oh, yeah that’s the GOP Pizza named for its green peppers, onions and pepperoni.  It’s only half-baked, heavy with oil, very cheesy, and smells like crap.”

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! 
                                                                                                      --- Jay Leno


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